Satire? Probably not for much longer.
Under new plans being drawn up by the DWP, all individuals claiming income-related benefits will be required to undergo blood tests and tissue typing, and sign up with a new voluntary register of blood and organ donors - or face losing all benefits.
From November, when claimants report to the Jobcentre, they will be met with a row of couches on which they will be invited to lay back while teams of unpaid Work Programme Volunteers from Atos draw off several litres of blood.
And there will be fully equipped operating theatres installed in every Jobcentre, plus teams of couriers able to rush newly harvested organs to every corner of the globe, wherever there may be demand.
Jobcentre security guards will be equipped with tazers to ensure the smooth operation of the new scheme.
A spokesperson for Iain Duncan Smith told reporters, "The days of the something for nothing culture are over. If people expect to receive benefits, they will be expected to give something back in return.
"We are all in it together, and even those at the lowest levels of society have something to contribute.
"Many wealthy people and their loved ones face tragically early deaths due to the need for a suitable kidney donor or a new heart, having tragically learned that their fortunes can not buy them everything. The new Blood for Benefits Programme will ensure that a sustainable source of donor organs will be readily available to all deserving families from now on.
"In cases of voluntary heart and "second kidney" donations, claimants' surviving relatives will be entitled to apply for a means-tested token loan towards the cost of a simple funeral.
"Poor people can be proud of the fact that the hearts and other organs of their workless relations will receive the honour of finding new homes in bankers, political leaders and VIPs.
"Who knows but that the blood of an unpaid shelf filler today, may be flowing through the blue-blooded veins of a prince or a duchess tomorrow".
The future of workless individuals found to be harbouring chronic infections or genetic disorders, is undergoing urgent review.
